Oh, those mood swings. Up and down, up and down. I wish there was a 
“straightforward” way around them.
Back in my Ironman-training days—now long gone, I promise you—I started seeing the race as such a scary monster that I needed to do something about it. So I booked another event for myself three months after the Ironman. It would be something I could look forward to and it would mean that no matter what happened in the race itself, whether I finished it or not, all that training would not have gone to waste. For the last two months before the race, I could tell myself that I was training to keep fit for everything that was to come. I wasn’t “just” training for a race.
Post-Ironman, however, my body was really in need of a break. My MIND was in need of a break. I hadn’t realized while I was training just how much pressure I was putting on myself to do every single training session exactly the way my triathlon coach had prescribed, AND to keep up with work without anyone thinking that I was falling behind because I was doing a crazy race. I made sure never to mention my Ironman training to the people I worked with (well, hardly ever). It was not going to be used as an excuse for falling behind. So I just never fell behind.
Once the race was over, I took that break I so desperately needed. It was HEAVEN. When it was time to start training again, I was ready. But it’s been a bit of a roller coaster since then. Sometimes my motivation levels are sky-high, other times they are almost non-existent. That was never a real problem when I was Ironman training. Or, at least, I had it under control because my mind was stubbornly set on doing everything possible to get to that race.
That roller coaster of motivation has meant that I haven’t always felt like I was “properly” preparing for my next adventure, now under two weeks away. But you know what I caught myself thinking today? I’ve actually been doing quite well! I’m being too hard on myself. I’ve been listening to my body and that’s important. I’m also unwittingly comparing my training now with the training I’ve been doing for most of the year, and that is such an unfair comparison. If, instead of comparing my current training with Ironman training, I compared it with how I trained for something similar a few years ago, I’m bloody smashing it!
While away for two weeks in Egypt for a family visit, I really struggled to keep up with work and training. The stress of feeling like I HAD to do both was too much for me and the result was that I was feeling very down about it all. I ended up neither keeping up with work OR training. And I had decided that booking that December event was probably the most stupid thing I had ever done.
But this morning I got up, went to the gym, and did an interval session on the treadmill. I then went for a relaxing Jacuzzi and came home to eat a huge breakfast. Do you know how good that felt? It felt GREAT. I’m back into my routine. I’m on top of work. And I have an adventure to look forward to very soon. As I was eating my breakfast I was thinking, “How boring would life be right now if I didn’t have that adventure coming up?” So now I’m starting to think that this upcoming adventure might actually have been one of my most inspired ideas yet! No matter what happens during this next event, I’m really really looking forward to it. I am so glad I am back to feeling that way.
So what is that next adventure I keep alluding to? I’m not ready to tell you yet! I just needed to publicly reflect on those mood and motivation changes of mine. It’s good to be back to a “good” place. And I’m learning that I don’t always have to be doing super-human training. Normal human training, which sometimes involves just not doing that workout today, is fine too.
Inner Workings of My Mind 