Today was one of those mornings. I woke up thinking: Why on EARTH do I keep doing this to myself?
As usual, at the time when I booked this trip, I thought it was a totally inspired idea. And also as usual, now that I’m about to set off on it, all I can think is that I hate traveling. I hate change. I just want to sit on the couch at home and do nothing.
Of course, when I sit on the couch with nothing to do, I am so incredibly bored with how
routine my life has become that I book myself onto trips like the one I’m about to go on today.
Something must be wrong with me.
Well, whether I’m totally sane or completely bonkers, I have no choice now but to set off on another epic journey.
That sentence makes me sound so ungrateful for the opportunities that I have. I promise you, I’m not.
I know that I want to give this a try. I have wanted to go on this trip for years. But there is always some sort of a struggle going on inside of me. I have learned that, if I want to achieve anything in life, I need to somehow rise above that struggle and just do the things I know I want, and sometimes even need, to do.
Today, my big job is getting myself from Leeds in the north of England to London Heathrow. It will be no easy task. I’m taking the train from Leeds to London King’s Cross, then I need to make my way through the London underground carrying 30kg-worth of stuff. I have no wheelie suitcases with me for this trip. I’ll have to carry ALL of it.
Listen, if I can get myself to Heathrow Airport today, I’ll be fine with whatever happens over the next three weeks (she lies).
I really wish I had been able to prepare more for this trip. But I was so exhausted, more mentally than physically, after completing my Ironman and the months of training that preceded it, that I just didn’t have the motivation to do the kind of physical preparation that I was hoping to do. Instead, I focused on making sure I had all the gear that would keep me as safe as possible for this trip. I also focused on just getting through a work day without feeling like I was in a constant rush to get in another training session.
I have decided that I don’t really mind how the trip goes as long as I stay safe and enjoy myself while I’m there. I am not looking for any amazing accomplishments. I am most looking forward to being forced not to connect to Internet World for the major part of three weeks. Knowing me, I’ll still manage to find that rare Internet connection so I can quickly post something nonsensical on Facebook. But it will be rare if it happens at all.
Other things will be rare too: showers, for one. Toilets. A warm bed. Clean clothes. Even a general sense of well-being might be rare!
Why do I choose to do these things again?
Ok. I’ll admit it. This post has me thinking I’m actually quite excited about what is to come. I might have been lacking motivation over the past few weeks, but this just might be worth digging in deep and pulling it back out again.
Focus, Nadia. Just get yourself to Heathrow for now.