vote

It is done. And I chose the revolution.

When the results of the first round of presidential elections came out, I blogged that I had decided to vote for the Muslim Brother (MB) candidate, Mohammed Morsi. It was a straightforward choice for me at the time. If I only had one of the two to choose from, I would not choose the man who belonged to the former regime. I left my home and my children and risked my life along with millions of others for 18 days to remove that regime. I would not bring it back again with my own two hands. I do not want the MB ruling my country. But I was going to bring them in and then watch them like a hawk. In an Arabic language video blog a few days later I said, “If the MB make one single mistake when they come into government, just wait and see how the Egyptian people will make the ‘day of their father black’ (an Egyptian saying meaning it will be a dark day for them).”

Between then and now, only a matter of days, many things have happened in Egypt. A second attempt was made to put together a committee that would draft Egypt’s constitution. The committee stunk of sectarianism. Then parliament was dissolved. We are in a country with no constitution and no parliament after we spent months going through a prolonged process to have both, which included people going to the polls. And we end up with neither. (more…)

It’s done. I walked into the school where my voting station is. I said a short prayer to God before proceeding. “God, if there is good in this choice of mine, then make it easy for me. If there is no good in this choice of mine, then make it difficult for me. You, alone, know where our best interests lie.”

The young soldier sitting at the gate gave me directions to station number 18, where I was to go. It was a large school. There was no line at all. No one ahead of me. I gave them my name and number. They checked my ID. They gave me a piece of paper with the names and pictures of all the 13 presidential candidates. I checked on the box in front of one of them. God made it easy for me. And it was done.

I walked out of the school feeling numb. As I walked home, I eventually felt as if I wanted to cry. I held it back. A dialogue went through my head:

“What if I made the wrong choice? I have misgivings about every single one of the candidates. Strong misgivings even. What if my misgivings about this particular candidate turn out to be true? What if he wins? What will I have done then to my country? No. Even if these misgivings turn out to be true, the damage will only be minimal. There are other candidates who could do real damage. I’ve avoided them. I’ve done what I can. I’ve chosen to the best of my ability and knowledge. Now it is time for me to leave it to God.”

Last night I decided I needed to avoid reading the political statuses of my Facebook friends. I was getting stressed and upset about the hyper-politicization and missionary styles of some of them in supporting their candidates or their points of view. I was being a bit bitchy myself. I needed clarity of mind. I needed to think without being influenced. Social media has become an important information source for many of us. But it’s also become a major source of stress at times like these.

It’s done. I’m still going to avoid my friends’ political Facebook statuses for awhile. I’m going to do my best to take the weekend off from politics and relax. I’ll be interested to follow the results. But whoever wins in this round, it will not be a life-changing event for me. I will continue to observe. And hope. And pray.

God, the Egyptian people have done everything in their power to bring good to this country and remove evil. We’ve shed tears, sweat, blood, eyes, and souls. Please, God, help us now.