I almost thought I was cured.
I came back from an amazing two months of cycling across Europe and I finally felt content.
I was happy just recovering from the after-pains, relaxing and reading a book, watching my crappy reality television shows.
I found pleasure cooking for myself and for my family at home after two months of eating at restaurants.
I was enjoying testing out my general fitness by going back to the gym and by trying to run again. I discovered that I had great lower body strength, I ran 5km faster than I ever had before, my cardio was going strong, but I have zero upper body strength, my hamstrings aren’t stretching the way they used to, my knees make crunching sounds whenever I go up stairs, and I feel lots of pain all over my body after a normal workout at the gym.
I’ve been back for 19 days. It’s only been 19 days. And I feel – again – that something significant is missing from my life.
I need purpose. I need a project. I need to be doing something. But not just anything. I need something I can be passionate about again. (more…)