I’ve been thinking about life a lot lately. I look at my own life and wonder if it has much meaning. It has meaning to me, of course. But does it have meaning beyond me? Will my brief existence on Earth have any meaningful short-term or long-term impact? Is it important that it does?
Life is such a strange thing.
There are points in every one of our lives where it just simply takes our breath away. These are different for each of us. They could be in the ecstasy of passing a difficult exam at school, or in the miraculous moments of giving birth to a child, or while standing on a mountain top, or while sitting with a dear friend, drinking tea on a long cold night, and laughing from the bottom of your hearts while remembering days gone by.
There are other points in every one of our lives when we are enveloped by a darkness we may think will never end: the death of a loved one, being unemployed, losing everything in a natural disaster, or, for some, simply failing an important exam at school.
And there are all the ups and downs in between: (more…)
When the day comes and I am lying on my deathbed or breathing my last breath, it is important to me that I can look quickly back on my life and feel that I lived it to the fullest.
I thought I was doing well until recently.
I can say with a certain degree of confidence that throughout the various phases of my life I have lived in a way that the Nadia of that phase wanted to live. I don’t have any regrets I can think of. Even when I have made horrible horrible mistakes I know that I made them consciously and decisively. I am aware they were mistakes. And in the process of making those mistakes and in their aftermath I have learned much about myself and the world around me.
I periodically ask myself, “Nadia, if you die now, will you feel content with the way you have lived your life?” And the answer has almost always been, “Yes.” Sometimes it has even been, “Hell, yes!” (more…)
Is this that I feel despair? Depression? Frustration? Loneliness? Just a general sadness? Or perhaps some combination thereof?
I find myself longing for normality. But I try to find my personal definition for what normality really is for me and I fail. Have I ever experienced anything remotely similar to what most people would call a normal living? Has anyone?
I look at my own life, my personal circumstances, and I see a story. I see a life full of drama, events, very high highs and very low lows. I look at my life and I see a unique story. Yet I know that every single person placed on this earth has a unique story of their own.
I am vexed by a feeling of entitlement. I am entitled to live a better life. I am entitled to find a job that I really love. (more…)
Sometime around my early to mid-thirties, I decided I needed to make some changes in my life. I was a fulltime mother and housewife at the time. And I was more than happy to continue doing that indefinitely. I absolutely loved, and still do, taking care of my children and managing the household. But I had come to the realization, observing my and my siblings relationships with my own parents, that children grow up and go on to have their own lives. If I didn’t find something to occupy my time, in addition to my children, a day will come when I will feel very alone. I was also feeling a need to be financially independent. At the time, my thinking on the matter wasn’t feminist in the slightest. I wasn’t thinking that I needed to be my own independent person and part of that independence was my financial independence. I simply wanted to have enough money to buy a nice shampoo every now and then without my husband complaining about how I was spending “our” money. And I wanted to be able to get my children nice things when I wanted to.
Shortly after I came to these realizations, I began to work. Becoming a career woman radically changed my life. (more…)
Some things I think I’ve learned about life (as of May 14, 2013):
The only way to succeed big is to fail even bigger. Don’t let your failures turn you off from achieving success. Failure is a normal step on the road to success. Work hard, fail, brush your self off, stand back up, learn from your failure, and work even harder. Success will come and will be all the sweeter.
Don’t make happiness in life one of your goals. Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes. Learn how to feel content no matter what life deals you. It’s all good: the rough times and the happy times. They all mold you into a stronger and more mature human being.
Never make life choices in order to please someone else. This is your life to live. That someone else has made their own choices. But know: choosing to live your life to please someone else, when you do it, is YOUR choice. If you’ve been trying to please someone else, blame only yourself. (more…)
حتلاحظوا أني انهارده كتبت كثير في البلوج. عارفين ده بيحصل امتى؟ بيحصل لما بأشتغل بذمة. أيوه والله. لما بأبقى في مود الشغل مخي بيشتغل بسرعة 1000 كيلومتر في الساعة وما بأقدرش أخلي مخي يركز في حاجة واحدة بس. انهارده كان يوم إنجاز. وفي نهاية هذا اليوم المشهود قررت أحط لكم بلوج ثالث. ثاااااااااالث. في يوم واحد. ده غير كل الحاجات الثانية اللي طرأت على ذهني وكتبتها في البلوج على مدار اليوم. جالي اسهال بلوجنج معلش
أيوه بقيت مهووسة بنفسي. ودي علامة مرضية مقلقة. نصيبكم أني وصلت لسن أزمة منتصف العمر في وقت البلوج والفيديو بلوج والتويتر والفيسبوك. ما عنديش حاجة أتكلم عنها غير نفسي.
وبالمناسبة السعيدة دي قررت أجرب موضوع الفيديو بلوج ده. حأحاول كل يوم..أو كل كم يوم.. أعمل فيديو بلوج أتكلم عن أفكاري وهمومي. وبيني وبينكم بأعمل ده لنفسي أكثر ما بأعمله لأي حد. لما الواحد يخرج أفكاره للمجال العام بيقدر يحلل أفكاره بشكل أفضل. أو على الأقل دي نظريتي انهارده وخلينا نشوف.
عملت اليوم صباحا 2 فيديو بلوج. أيوه 2. عملت واحد…اتفرجت عليه…وحسيت أني محتاجة أعلق عليه فعملت الثاني
قولوا لي رأيكم في مختبر نادية للفيديو بلوج. مصيري ألاقي حاجة أكثر إثارة أكلمكم عليها في الأيام الجاية