Tomorrow is the day I set off for Lisbon, Portugal. I might not get to see much of it, which is quite disappointing every time I
think of it.
I’m freaking out. I spent most of the second half of yesterday holding back tears. I’m so scared. And for the gazillionth time I asked myself, “Why I am doing this?”
On the train on my way back home from a short wedding anniversary trip to London, I posted the following on Facebook (feel free to follow me on FB but I will have to apologize for not accepting friend requests) as my mind went round and round and round:
Questions that will soon be answered:
1. Can I enjoy myself when completely on my own? As in COMPLETELY on my own.
2. Can I motivate myself when I’m ready to give up?
3. When faced with a problem I do not know how to solve, is my solution to just break down and cry? (Yes is the answer to this one)
4. Can I be the kind of tourist who does ABSOLUTELY no shopping (except for food) for quite a long time?
5. How long can my back last sleeping on the ground?
6. How long can I last without a shattafa?
7. How much pain can I REALLY handle?
8. How long can I go without soap and clean clothes?
9. How much do I REALLY enjoy nature?
10. How long can I go without getting my eyebrows done without looking like an ape?
I have a very contradictive personality. I’m superstitious. I don’t want to tell people about my plans in case it jinxes it. I fear their collective evil eye. Yet I am, at the same time, a compulsive sharer. I want to be able to write about my plans and my experiences. It helps me process through my thoughts much better than keeping them to myself in my head. And I will not lie: I also need the support and encouragement of my friends.
So I’m just going to get it out there and tell you about this trip I’ve been planning for the past few months. If anything bad happens before, during, or after the trip, I’ll lay it on YOU, the reader, for your evil eye. So before you read any further, cleanse your heart, purify your thoughts, and send me nothing but good vibes. (more…)