I feel compelled to write. It feels as if it is my duty. But my brain is frozen. What is there left to say?
I spent part of today sending notes to friends trying to make sure they were still alive and unharmed. This wasn’t the first time I’ve done this. Over the past three years there have been many times when I have had family members or friends in the direct line of fire. When things began getting really bad just after the protests of June 30, 2013, I spent several days making sure that the remaining members of my direct family who were still in Egypt came to stay with me for a while in the UK. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be in a sort of mad frenzy to get my family out of our country.
When they all got out, I convinced myself I would stop caring about what happened in Egypt. “Now that my family is with me, Egypt could go up in flames for all I care,” I found myself saying. It wasn’t true. I still obsess over news from Egypt. Every single morning, the first thing I do when I wake up is reach for my laptop and say, “I need to find out what has happened in Egypt while I’ve been asleep.” I cry and rage over the deaths and the chaos. Today I’ve felt as if my blood pressure may be running high and wondered what I would say if I paid a quick visit to the doctor: “I’m not feeling very well, doc. I am stressing over what is happening in my country.” I am not alone. Egyptians inside the country and out are suffering as much as I am.
Words can no longer describe my frustration.
It sounds horrible to say this, but it’s not the number of people who died this morning in Cairo that upsets me. Well, of course it upsets me. But we’ve become accustomed to hearing about deaths in my country. What really upsets me is that too many people I know, good people, condone and/or justify the killings this time.
How do I go about describing what is happening in my country today? Just thinking about it makes me feel physically ill.
How can anyone deserve death by firing squad while protesting on the street? Where is the rule of law? If protesters are inciting hatred, apply the rule of law. If protesters are using weapons, as so many will claim, round them up and bring them to justice. If people are disrupting the peace, apply the rule of law. And do this to ANYONE who incites hatred, uses weapons, or disrupts the peace, not just to those who oppose the current government!
The problem in my country is that too many people want to decimate the opposition. This was true of Mubarak and his supporters. It was true of the Brotherhood and their supporters. It is true, today, of the military and their supporters.
The problem in my country is that the rule of law no longer applies, if ever it did.
The problem in my country is that hatred and irrational fear is the driving force behind the actions of many.
I see us all in a whirlpool, spiraling down and further down, completely out of control.
I feel let down by so many. I feel let down by the “revolutionaries” who spent so much of their time in the past three years out on the streets instead of working on building a stronger Egypt. I feel let down by politicians who spent so much of their time bickering amongst themselves rather than coming together to form a strong national coalition. I feel let down by the Islamists who spent so much of their time trying to shape Egypt into a twisted, ugly “Islamic” state instead of demonstrating the inclusiveness of our beautiful religion. I feel let down by the protesters who took to the streets on June 30, not fully comprehending the end-results of their actions. I feel let down by every single person who accepted the army head’s invitation to give him a mandate to combat “violence”. I feel let down by the naivety of those who thought he was sincere in his generalization. I feel more let down by those who really only wanted him to bring down the Muslim Brotherhood using any and all means possible.
When people started rallying for support of the June 30 protests I said, “Don’t do this! Please! People will die! The Muslim Brotherhood will become victims! If you want them removed this is not the way!” The Brotherhood had reached a stage where they had the least support they have probably ever had in their existence. If we just waited this out a little bit longer, so few would have voted them back into power. Now that they have been victimized, I do not believe this to be the case. They are regaining support and sympathy on the ground.
Mubarak’s cronies are back in full force. His security apparatus has taken over the country. I cannot even say we are back to where we were prior to the 2011 Revolution. We are in a far far worse state. And it will only get worse yet. Weapons are now everywhere in my country and amongst my countrymen. Vendettas will become a way of life.
We let ourselves down. As a people, we were able to unite for only 18 days. It was only after those 18 days that we began to show our true colors.
Egypt is no longer at a crossroads. Egypt has crossed the road and is heading straight for hell.
I am so, so sorry about all of this. You are totally right. And as an American watching helplessly, I am wondering if the CIA or similar forces have been mapping out the road to hell all along. Instead of helping Detroit avoid bankruptcy (which would have been cheaper), three billion US tax dollars went to the Egyptian military in the last two years. They’ve had their eye on the Muslim brotherhood from the start. Now Obama is pretending there wasn’t a coup so he can give the military even more money. Very, very sad.
Right on 😦
You write about the situation and your pain surrounding it beautiful. I’ve shared your last two posts on my Facebook and Twitter pages because they beautifully articulate how complicated and tragic the situation in Egypt is right now. My husband’s Egyptian born living in the US and has friends and much family still there. It’s just such a mess, after so much hope two and a half years ago. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feeling with us.
This post is so powerful, thank you so much for choosing to share this with us. It’s enlightening to not just hear about the politics, and the deaths, but how exactly it feels. I can’t say that I can comprehend the pain that you’re feeling because to do so would be completely injust. However I do share your frustration as I believe that violence is never the answer. I hope that with more opinions such as yours being shared with the world that someday the hatred can eventually fizzle into nothingness.
I wrote about this back when the Morsi government fell. I don’t see any good coming out of this 2nd revolution. It’ll just lead to more violence, more dictatorships, and more problems. I have no idea why all this is happening–or maybe I do, but I’m not saying all or even some of them in a comment–but I have a feeling that things in Egypt won’t calm down for a looong while.
I totally agree. Egypt needs to change and move on in a positive way. Thanks for this blog today.
Wow, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Just reading about this fills me with all kinds of difficult emotions but living with a direct connection to it must be a whole different level. I really hope this post reaches a lot of people because we do need to be reminded there is a world outside our own little bubbles. I need that reminder all the time, and this has served as such. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us.
I have been following the news on Egypt with much sorrow for her people. Your blog breaks my heart even more. I only hope that Egypt is able to move forward to peace for her people.
Part of me hopes you’re wrong and the other part knows you’re right. But, when an entire nation loses itself in hatred, it seems that your prediction may hold true.
Reblogged this on bundaarums.
I’ve been watching the news in Egypt closely. Here in the States, most of our “reporters” simply overanalyze the political events occurring without focusing on the real story – the lack of stability and the deaths, injuries and miseries that result from it. The biggest debate here was whether it was right to use the term “coup” when referring to the military’s takeover of power from Morsi. Is that really the most important issue here?
The whole region is a mess now. God knows what will happen in Syria. I have family in Lebanon and am hoping that these conflicts don’t end up affecting the political situation there too badly, but it’s hard to watch all the same. We can just hope for the best, I guess.
My sympathies are with you. It must be awful.
I am praying for your country and your people. I pray for you also that you may find the strength to deal with hardship and opposition in ways that won’t harm your physical being. I only hope that writing what you feel helps you to feel it less, and that all who read your words will feel a little of your pain for you.
Reblogged this on sagarpatilblog.
Reblogged this on zainabakef.
Articulate, immediate, authentic…thank you.
Ahhh where are the days of Cleopatra? Now that was a great drunk… uhhh great leader! 🙂
The situation is bad, but not that bad as heading to Hell. Life will go on.
It will get better
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Reblogged this on meanlittleboy2 and commented:
don’t worry, jesus will save eygpt in due time,,love this blog,,great job
Reblogged this on I'm not a stubborn kid! ♥ and commented:
Pray for Egypt
From Pakistan as par all discussion on eygpt i am not fully wonders about that, Actuly i am seeing all these point in front of my here in Pakistan, I just Pray for all Piece and Happiness in all over the world,
Not only for Pakistan and eygpt but all all other Islamic Country’s
Wow, you’ve just given me a new perspective of Egypt besides the events occurring within the news. I really appreciate that you’ve expressed your views with other bloggers. Everyday I see the news, and although I am not Egyptian, I’ve grown tired of the fighting and deaths that has occurred for the second continuous year. I’m just guessing that the government becomes so absorbed into the details of politics they forget the bigger (and simpler) picture they ought to obtain. Like you said, it’s to strengthen Egypt so they can unite, isn’t it? I wish you and your family the best of luck, and that whatever you choose to do next will be the right choice… 🙂
Reblogged this on Call me Zero !.
This sadly reminds me of Somalia in the early stages of our twenty year civil war: different factions fighting each other constantly and the public caught on the ground: the pawns; the foot soldiers of callous, power-hungry tyrants. As a person who lived through political instability, outright war and two decades worth of nightmares I can only express my deepest sympathies for your nations toil. I can do nothing but wish you luck and pray that Egypt inshallah never experiences the tremors and quaks which tore my Somalia apart.
I share your sadness. I notice though, that you said regarding Islam, “Our beautiful religion.” Nothing that excludes the love of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God is beautiful. The killing of Christians in Egypt is horrible, but those who lost their lives that have accepted Christ will see God. The Muslim jihadists will see nothing but eternal pain, darkness, and the fires of Hell. Perhaps this may seem blunt and insensitive to you, but it is way more insensitive for me not to give you the opportunity to know that Jesus is real. May the grace and peace of Jesus overwhelm you so that you may know that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are One God in three forms. Anything that denies the Lordship of the Christ is of Lucifer.
May Jesus’ love capture your heart.
Very insightful. I agree.
well the problem is the people didn’t put an end to this from the start , scaf did put people into dangerous situation the moment they put morsi and shafik into elections , u don’t put brotherhood against old regime puppet into elections because brotherhood will win instead u could have put a revolutionary character against brotherhood character , it will come up with the revolutionary character be the one who will win , but too many old files prevent them from doing this , too many corruption and blood have been made to the people too many secrets shouldn’t go on public , because what happened to Egyptian people is far worse than this , its far worse , when people lose hope , then u just wait for hell to rises.
I’m sorry for all the lives lost. I’m also from the Middle East. I’ve always been afraid of either civil war or an invasion but luckily it hasn’t happened yet. At least you have your family outside of Egypt with you. I think there are way too many hands in the Egypt situation, other super powers. All the best to Egypt and all the countries on Earth!